Monty Speaks: April Showers...
Dear Readers,
Some of you may have been wondering where we were in March. The short answer: Monty took a trip to Hong Kong, and became very ill. The long answer: Spring is here, and it's as good of an excuse as any to be lazy and play lots of games, under the guise of "recuperation".
Anyway, to make up for the gap, this April issue (which we'd have loved to release on April 1, so we could have some fake stories in it) has two recipes! Instead of entrees or lunchtime sandwiches, We've decided to focus on desserts that anyone can make. That is, anyone with an oven, and access to a grocery store. But chances are, if you're reading this, you probably can do it.
While you're reading this issue, Freeverse's President, Ian Lynch Smith, will be at home, taking care of his new son, Jasper, who was born to his wife, Joanna, in March! You can't really give presents to a newborn, but if you want to send congratulations, send them to ian@freeverse.com.
Happy Spring,
Monty Zuma
Official Spokesmonkey
Freeverse Software
Legion Shipping!
Ave Caesar! Legion for Macintosh is now shipping in North America! Take control of your European empire as the Romans, or as another tribe, and sieze control of foreign lands! Use tactics, formations, and terrain to defeat your foes, or pursue diplomatic solutions.
Whether you're fascinated by history, studied Latin in school, or you just love strategy games, this game of empire building, diplomacy, and conquest is for you. For historians, there's delight in a game that's well researched. Latin buffs can have fun with all the Roman culture evident in the game. And strategy players can just enjoy uniting the world under Roman rule.
If you succeed, we'll all be using a Roman alphabet. If you fail, you can always start over! Check out our page about legion for more details, or order it now from the Freeverse store!
http://www.freeverse.com/legion.mgi
Deluxe Board Games Released; Free to .Mac Subscribers
Freeverse's Deluxe Board Games are the most exciting thing to hit the Mac online multiplayer scene since, well... since Freeverse Board Games! The new Deluxe versions of the games feature four levels of AI for solo play, and of course offer online play and ranking via GameSmith, our multiplayer gaming network.
Also, for a limited time, Apple is offering these games for free to all subscribers to .Mac, its Internet service! Login to Apple's .Mac page with your username and password to download your free copies of these games:
4 In A Row - race to light up four buttons in a row before your opponent.7th Fleet - hide your ships, and fire away! Destroy your opponent's fleet before you take a trip to Davey Jones' locker.
Draughts - known in the US as checkers, all your favorite double-jumping action is back. King me!
Chess - one of the world's most famous board games.
Go - conquer the board and surround your opponent's pieces in this classic game.*
Mancala - the simple yet subtle African game of stones.
Reversi - Reversi makes its triumphant return. Flip over your opponent's pieces and go for those corners!
Tic Tac Toe - it's like being back in elementary school, only online!
You can get the entire set of eight games for $19.95!
http://www.freeverse.com/boardgames.mgi
Wingnuts, Crosscards, and X-Words Deluxe Updated
Freeverse recently updated Wingnuts (its action shooter, rated 5 mice in Macworld Magazine) to version 1.2.5, fixing a rare bug. Additionally, Freeverse updated both Crosscards and X-Words Deluxe to version 2.2, adding new features and fixing a few bugs along the way.
If you haven't tried Crosscards and X-Words Deluxe, now's the time to download them before the weather gets too hot to stay indoors. Crosscards is a fusion between poker and crossword games, and X-Words Deluxe is an innovative twist on the world's best-loved multiplayer crossword game.
You can download each of these updates using the links available at the left.
3D Card Games Now Available at Amazon: New Linking Contest Announced
3D Hearts Deluxe and 3D Spades Deluxe boxes for Windows and Macintosh are now available at the popular online retailer, Amazon! That means that anyone in Amazon's Associate Program can make money whenever someone buys any of the two titles via links on their own web pages.
Because we love our customers, we're announcing a contest. If you're linking to us in Amazon.com via your own affiliate ID (or someone else's), please send a note to Monty. Next issue, we'll award a copy of both boxes, signed by Monty to the owner of one of the sites picked at random.
To participate, copy the Amazon links in the left margin to your site, or join the affiliate program and use your own. You could win a collector's item!
What's Jen Cookin'?
Hi
again!
Today we're going to look at creating something different, and something that has never been done before, ever. From the Jen Carols Kitchen Labs comes this new, delectable treat that's sure to please everyone, even if their ears have been spared by el carniciero de canciones. That's right, we're making Jared sugar cookies!
Whether you're for or against the mutilation of foreign cultures through misinterpretation of their songs, these cookies are sure to please. If you like Jared, you'll eat him while listening to his mp3s. If you hate him, you can eat his mouth so he'll stop singing.
Admittedly, we're cheating by using a bag of cookie mix we found at the store. But as is frequently the case, nobody will be the wiser!
Jared Cookies
| Qty | Ingredient |
|---|---|
| 1 | bag of sugar cookie mix, plus any ingredients that the bag calls for, such as an egg and margarine |
| 1 | tube of yellow icing |
| 1 | shaker each of yellow sugar, brown chocolate decors, and red cinnamon decors. |
Prepare the sugar cookie mix as per its instructions.
When the cookies have cooled, decorate them with a layer of yellow icing. Then shake yellow sugar onto the icing. Now, use a pinch of chocoloate toppings for each eye, and two pinches for the mouth. Finish it off with some red toppings for the tongue.
Then serve it to people while playing the mp3s. Have a cookie party, or just serve them to your family. Or, make a giant Jared cookie instead of some small ones.
Like this recipe? Forward it to a friend!
Coming Soon
This month we've got a nice screenshot for you of something we call Solace. Not because it's a code name, but because that's the name of the game! It's a turn-based game of strategy that you can play solo, online in real time, or by e-mail against foes from around the world!
There's no diplomacy in this game. Build up a military and sic it on your enemy, because you know they're trying to do the same to you! This game is going to ship sooner than you think, and we'll have a lot more to show you in the next issue. Oh, and one last detail: This game is for both Windows and Macintosh!
Ok, one more detail: A complete game of this is usually much shorter than a complete game of Civilization, so you can get one or two games done in an evening, instead of in a month. Which makes this the most time-efficient time-wasting strategy game ever! Now that you're salivating, you'll have to wait until the next issue for more screenshots.
What else is Jen Cookin'?
Hi
again!
Now that you've mastered the art of the Jared sugar cookie, we're going to try something wild and crazy. We're making upside-down Jared sugar cookies!
This recipe is sure to please people who like eating anything that's upside down. Plus, you can make a game out of it: If anyone is tempted to turn the cookies right-side up, you can smack them, or force them to listen to Jared's mp3s.
Admittedly, we're cheating by using the same exact recipe as in the last one, but the secret is in the toppings, as you'll see below:
Upside-down Jared Cookies
| Qty | Ingredient |
|---|---|
| 1 | bag of sugar cookie mix, plus any ingredients that the bag calls for, such as an egg and margarine |
| 1 | tube of yellow icing |
| 1 | shaker each of yellow sugar, brown chocolate decors, and red cinnamon decors. |
Prepare the sugar cookie mix as per its instructions.
When the cookies have cooled, turn them over so that the flat side is facing up, then decorate the flat side with a layer of yellow icing. (this will be easier than the previous recipe, because you're spreading it on the flat side!) Then shake yellow sugar onto the icing. Now, use a pinch of chocoloate toppings for each eye, and two pinches for the mouth. Finish it off with some red toppings for the tongue.
See? By making upside-down cookies, you're probably going to confuse a lot of people, who expect to find the decorations on the top, not the bottom. And those who dare to turn the cookie right-side up will see the face of Jared smiling upon them! Muhuhahahaha!
Like this recipe? Forward it to a friend!
Freeverse Tip: 7th Fleet Strategy
7th fleet is essentially a game of chance, but you can improve your odds if you know the way your opponent thinks.
Ship placement is the first element of your strategy. The idea is to place your ships in a formation that your opponent will not be able to guess. You can confuse your opponent into thinking he or she has sunk a larger ship than he really has sunk by placing ships next to each other, but there's no guarantee this will work.
The second part of the strategy is in guessing how your opponent placed their ships, which depends on how well your opponent tried to fool you after reading the first paragraph. Many people tend to place the five ships in some sort of symmetrical pattern, so after you've sunk 3 or 4 of them, you can usually guess where the fifth is.
Monkey Chuckles
Monty is working at a grocery store. A customer comes in and says he would like to buy half a head of lettuce. Monty explains that lettuces are sold by the head, and not in halves. The customer complains and insists that Monty goes to the manager, so Monty walks backward toward the office.
Opening the door, Monty shouts to the manager, "Hey, some fool here wants to buy half a head of lettuce!", and turning around, notices the man standing behind him, as the manager approaches the door. Sensing that he has just offended the fool in front of his boss, Monty scrambled for the words to ameliorate the situation:
"And this nice gentleman standing behind me would like to purchase the other half."
Monty was fired anyway.
q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
a: It's obviously not an election year.
This one comes from readerValerie Guiles, who wins a license code. Keep those jokes coming! (and Ted - your code is coming!)
q: Who killed the artist that drew the Trix rabbit?
a: It was a cereal killer.
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