November 11, 2003
Needle in the Hay
Is there a school for building sandwiches? Because, I have found it to be almost universal that all the meat and cheese for sandwiches is folded up and placed towards the middle of the sandwich. My guess is that this makes it appear as if there is more meat and cheese than there really is....but SO WHAT???????? It is stupid, I want evenly placed meat and cheese.
There is a ratio of bread to meat and cheese. Not to mention lettuce, tomato, onion (light), mustard (yellow for sammies), and miracle whip (never, ever mayonnaise). So when these "Graduates of the Sandwich class for dummies" make the piled meat/cheese combo, I just have to rip the damn sandwich apart and even out the meat and cheese anyway. The reason this comes up is that we went to see the final Matrix this weekend (thank god it was bargain prices, I was too, too annoyed with the final installment) and were running late and went to the deli of the store next to the theater for a little lunch before we went in. So, on their sandwich sign, they highly recommend grilling the sandwiches before eating. Not usually a huge fan of the warm sandwich, I complied because my restaurant background told me that somethings are better done the way the "chef" wants them done.
Of course, I had to frantically search for a mayo-free sammy, and then debate the value between veggie, roast beef and cheddar, and some undefined white-type meat with a red spread. Ok, roast beef and cheddar it is, not a grand choice, but my Gram used to make some killer roast beef sandwiches. The major bonus was the baguette, god I loooooooooooooove baguette. The Hub got the unidentified meat with red spread on ciabatta (ewwww soggy). We then take our little cafeteria trays and go through the line to get sodas, and then pay, while waiting for our supposedly-yummy grilled sandwiches. Fyi, the San Pellegrino limonata was FABOO.
In a short course of time, the sammies come and mine......well.......hmmmm, how to put this? SUCKED ASS. The roast beef and cheddar were all in the middle, and cold, therefore not melted. But worse....the baguette was BURNED, not just a little browned, but blackened. Ok, what jackass thinks that a baguette should be grilled???? And just what dumas actually believes said jackass?????? The Hub in his sweet way offered to trade me sandwiches, which was rather noble, but the spread on his was some sweet red pepper thing, and I already have ciabbata issues. So I redistribute the meat and cheese (cold and not melted), and then find, I have to just discard the burned bread anyway. As for the meat and cheese, they tasted old and dry, but I hadn't eaten yet that day and we had a time limit.
I blame myself for agreeing to eat lunch at a place that insists on grilling a baguette. NEVER AGAIN